Memoir
by The Muses
Summary: Severus does some late night reflecting on a Lost Love! Tissue warning!


Memoir

By: The Duck

A/n: This song fic came to me really late one night when I was listening to this song. The plot just kind of formed as I heard this song. So, I simply had to make this my first Song Fic! Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are used without permission. And definitely don't belong to me! Even though I wish they did. Also the song lyrics are not mine the song is song by Sarah McLauchlan. Therefore the words to "When She Loved Me." Aren't mine! G!

Summary: Severus reflects on the past and old Romance! I swear this poor man has no luck with love! S/H fic! As if I write anything else! 

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He was thinking about her again. Severus shook his head trying to rid himself of the memories that always floated, bubbling behind his calm exterior. They haunted him always just waiting to venture out of the shadows of his mind. They weren't bad memories, in fact most were the happiest times of his life. Unfortunately, he could not look upon these memories without feeling his heart wrench painful at the great loss it had suffered. Love; after all can be one of the most painful emotions when it decides to leave 

you. All he had left of her was memories those bittersweet memories that lived in the darkest corners of his heart.

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When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful 

Every hour we spent together 

Lives within my heart

Only three years had they been together. But, as all things do it ended, leaving him with only vivid memories of what had occurred in those short years. There were even times when he indulged in these memories and tonight was one of those rare nights. He relaxed and let the visions overtake him. The first memory that bubbled to the surface was a time about three months into their relationship when her friends Potter and Weasley had discovered her with him. They of course were angry at their best friend's supposed betrayal of them and having no other friends to comfort her, she went to him. He had held her tightly as she cried that night and after crying for what seemed like ages to him, she had fallen fast asleep in his embrace.

She had been like a ray of sunshine that had burst through the dark forbidding storm clouds that seemed to constantly plague him. Her happiness was infectious and when ever she was near nothing could ruin his good mood. Except maybe her two best friends who eventually accepted that he made Hermione happy and therefore they let their initial anger disappear though, they still didn't like it.

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And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy so was I

When she loved me

The summer after she had graduated had been the best of his life. She had been accepted at a very famous and selective Wizarding Finishing Academy which, was the equivalent of a College in the Muggle world. She had introduced him to Pizza and Ice Cream and he had showed her some of the Wizarding world's landmarks. She had even, after very much persuasion, had dragged him to the beach. It had resulted in him getting sunburned but he would definitely do it again just to see Hermione in that little black bikini. 

That summer they had spent had been special. There had been nobody to interfere and nobody to judge them. It had been like a secret that only they shared and it had brought them closer together. It had just felt so right so, perfect. In his opinion that summer had ended way too soon for his liking. The fall came and it was time for Hermione to go off to school for four more years. They swore they would write each other at every available moment then they had embraced and kissed passionately. Then she was gone with a small pop as she apparated. 

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Through the summer and the fall

We had each other that was all

Just she and I together 

Like it was meant to be

Her first year away had been very hard for him but, Hermione had kept her promise and they wrote back and forth frequently, keeping each other informed on everything that happened to them. Hermione had also complained on being very lonely without him and all her friends. He had tried to comfort her to the best of his ability by writing even more than he had previously. He knew deep down in his heart that she had loved him and he loved her with all the passion and devotion that he possessed. 

__

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

And I knew that 

She loved me

The second year at school had gone by without a hitch and they had visited each other during all the Holidays and summers. It wasn't until almost halfway through her third year that he started to notice something odd. He had received his first letter from her in more than a month, which was odd in itself, but it wasn't signed at the bottom with her usual "I love you". Instead the bottom was blank. That probably should have been his first red flag but he had dismissed it as being busy with school and exams. The letter had continued to slow more and more until they had finally stopped all together. There had been nothing for him to do except wait and pray that she would come back to him and say that she loved him and always would. 

__

So the years went by I stayed the same 

But she began to drift away

I was left alone

Still I waited for the day

When she'd say, "I will always love you."

One more year went by and he heard nothing from her. He didn't know why she stopped writing or if she was even OK. He just sat there in the Dungeons forgotten like some old piece of clothing she'd outgrown, but he never blamed her never gotten angry at her everything had always been directed at himself and what he had done wrong to drive her away. He had finally gotten up the courage to go to her graduation from college just to see what she looked like. He had tried to stay in the shadows but he had been surprised and secretly happy when she had come up and hugged him quickly and tightly before pulling back and greeting him with a smile. "Nice to see you here, Professor Snape." His heart had practically ripped in two when she said that. He quickly pulled himself together though. "I came on Dumbledore's request after all you are my first student to ever graduate as a Potions Mistress." She gave me that smile I loved so much and looked like she was going to reply when a muscular arm was thrown over her shoulders and a young man with chestnut brown hair appeared from practically nowhere. "Come on Hermione, Love. You promised to come say hello to my parents." And she walked away without even a goodbye.

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Lonely and forgotten

Never thought she'd look my way

When she smiled at me and held me 

Just like she used to do

He shook his head violently to rid himself of that memory that was more painful to him than Crucio. He sighed heavily and let his head, rest tiredly on his shoulder. His hand reached down into the depths of his pockets and brought out a small worn out and folded piece of paper. He turned it over to look at the photograph that had seen so much wear and tear. It was a Wizarding photograph with himself and Hermione smiling and waving at the camera and kissing every so often. It took every fiber of his being at that moment. Not to break down into tears that was so out of character for him. 

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Like she loved me

When she loved me

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

He knew it was time to let go of Hermione. He also knew that there wasn't anything left of her to hold onto. That was then, this was now. And she didn't love him anymore.

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When she loved me

A/n: Damn that was sad. Sorry about that it just begged to be written. I do have an idea for a possible sequel that will be written if I get enough reviews asking for it and when I finish some of my Multi - Chapter Stories! Look for updates soon on various stories!


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